i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
