May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
