I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
