Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
