hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
