I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
