Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
