You're earring is so big in my mouth
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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