We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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