everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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