she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How naked do you want me to be?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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