Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
