Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
