dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my being single is dangerous.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
