if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
