k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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