You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
