remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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