you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
