you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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