I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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