bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
