What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize