You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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