he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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