You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
