it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Drake has all the answers
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
