yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
