You smell like stripper and shame
Princesses don't give blow jobs
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
