you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
