Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
