What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
