Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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