whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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