i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
