are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
