no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
