I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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