my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
