Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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