she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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