Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
