"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
