Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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