It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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