Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
