watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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