It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
