She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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