Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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