I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
